I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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