Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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