Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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