Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
