the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
