your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
