Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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(254): View more from Texas

Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?

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(720): View more from Colorado

For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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(845): View more from New York

Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess

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(417): View more from Missouri

She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.

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(434): View more from Virginia

You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater

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(240): View more from Maryland

A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room

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