So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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