Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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