I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
