You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He kissed a someone with a penis
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
