whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
