I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
