I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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