God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
