dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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