So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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