Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i out mim tonsoeep
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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