I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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