Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
