it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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