nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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