Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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