kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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