awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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