Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
