I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
