and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
