talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
