If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
