so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
