apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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