we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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