Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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