you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
