She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
