Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When are your genitals available?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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