She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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