You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
