their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
