I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
two words...techno handjob
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
