Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
