I'm so fucking centered right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
