yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
