you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
