It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
be right there i have to get my cape
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
