At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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