he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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