he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
