We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
